Aug 175 min read

Relating to Multi-Generations in Friendship

There is something so special about the way God divinely orchestrates our friendships with women we would have never imagined, or maybe never would we have picked. I am grateful He has sweet surprises reserved for us along our journey in life that reveal his goodness extended to us through friendships with women older and younger than those in our own peer group.

Connecting with diverse women in friendship is a gift from God. Diversity in ethnicity, marital status, socio-economic backgrounds, and of course across generations, is something we should desire as Christian women. As I grow older, I am convinced all women should have friends within their peer age group, but also equally important, with women from generations before and after them. Mary and Elizabeth, Ruth and Naomi are women from scripture who immediately come to mind.

Friendship with older women helps us navigate life with the advantage of borrowed wisdom. Seasoned, godly women have the ability to give us insight based upon their own life experiences. We lean into their struggles, setbacks, and successes for inspiration as we forge ahead to triumph over similar trials in our own life.

Friendship with younger women allows us to pay it forward in the wisdom we have received, stay relevant to culture, and keeps us young at heart! We are encouraged by their youth and vitality. Their boldness to live courageously for Christ is something we should cheer and celebrate through the beauty of friendship. We are never too old to learn from other godly women - younger or older - no matter what our ages may be.

One of my favorite examples of multi-generational friendship among women from the Bible is Mary and Elizabeth. Mary was a young teen pregnant mother, and Elizabeth was a pregnant mother in a season of life most would consider beyond child-bearing years. However, I love how Scripture records these words by Elizabeth in Luke 1:45 (NIV): “Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” Their friendship is so positive and encouraging. Although at two different stages of life, there was a common thread that connected them as mothers and recipients of miracles from God.

Just as we must be intentional about cultivating friendship with women our own age, so must we be in seeking out and maintaining friendships with women younger or older than us. I am challenging you as I challenge myself, to give attention to the friendships God has placed in my path and make time to have meaningful connections. All women need authentic connection with other women in every stage and season of life. Let’s do our best to stay plugged in with our multi-generational friendships by practicing the following:

Connect through Prayer. Always pray for your friends. Pray specifically for significant friendships with women who are younger and older than you. When possible, pray for and with them.

Connect through Conversation. Call or ask her to a face-to-face chat (even virtually via Zoom or FaceTime). While together, really listen and be present in the moment so that you can communicate to her, “I see you, I value you, and our friendship is important to me.”

Connect through a Hobby. Find a commonality that you can both actively participate in together. Maybe it’s painting, gardening, sewing, or cooking. But figure out what you have in common that you can enjoy together.

Connect through an Interest. Maybe this interest is something your friend likes that is reflective of her generation and not yours. But give it a try anyway. This is a great opportunity to bond doing something that interests your friend. Next time, you can be the one who gets to choose the activity or event that is of particular interest to you.

Connect through Studying God’s Word. One of the best blessings I have had is to study the Word of God with women who are not my age. Younger or older, they offer unique insights that make me sharper spiritually. If you are used to going to a small group Bible study with women your own age, try mixing it up and seeking out other women of multi-generations to engage with. You will be pleasantly surprised!

These are simple strategies we can apply to continue flourishing in our friendships with women of all ages. We will be better women and better friends when we receive the fullness of all God has for us to experience in friendships when we are living in unity with all of our sisters.